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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257792">West Coast Friendship</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaladin_x_happiness/pseuds/Kaladin_x_happiness'>Kaladin_x_happiness</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Neil comes to terms with his mother's death, Owl City, this was inspired by an Owl City song, warnings for mentions of her abuse and death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:54:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaladin_x_happiness/pseuds/Kaladin_x_happiness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil never truly let himself grieve for his mother. One day, he decides to go to California to say goodbye.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matt Boyd &amp; Neil Josten, Neil Josten &amp; Mary Hatford, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>West Coast Friendship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was inspired by the Owl City song West Coast Friendship. I've used a lot of phrases nearly word-for-word from the song, which is admittedly clunky in places, but I'm ultimately pleased with the result. Why did I decide to combine Owl City with a series about athletes, trauma, and the japanese mafia? Ask the Muse, because I sure don't know.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil woke with a gasp.</p><p>Heart pounding, he took stock of his surroundings. The apartment was dark, but his eyes were already adjusted. A phone, plugged in, sitting on the coffee table. Two pairs of shoes, resting by the door. A jacket and a hoodie hanging on the wall, looking almost surreal in these early hours. He was on a couch, tucked in under a thick blanket adorned with fox paws. He sighed in relief. This was his and Andrew’s apartment, and he was sleeping on the couch because yesterday had been a bad day. They were comfortable sleeping in the same bed, these days, but occasionally one of their pasts would rear its ugly head. Space was helpful when that happened to Andrew. Unfortunately it was less helpful for Neil.</p><p>Neil tried to calm his breathing. He was Neil Josten. He was, and always would be, a Fox. He was a professional Exy player. He lived in Denver, Colorado, and lived with his husband Andrew Minyard. He was twenty-five years old.</p><p>This chant wouldn’t stop the memories tonight.</p><p>He’d had a nightmare, a montage of memories about his mother. He thought of the way her hair had been difficult to manage, damaged by all the rounds of dye. He thought of her rough hands, her loud voice, her demands that he run and run and never look back.</p><p>And the walls were closing in, like the darkness around him.</p><p>Neil stood and put on his shoes. A run would help. He grabbed his phone and his wallet, having learned years ago that it was easier to take them with him than it was to fight about it later. Their apartment porch light was very bright and he didn’t want to wake Andrew when he left, so he snuck down the dark metal shape of the rusty fire escape.</p><p>The run did not help.</p><p>It did reduce the physical urge to move, but it wasn’t enough. Neil continued for miles and miles, trying to stop his mother’s voice chanting <i>run, Abram, run and don’t look back.<i> He knew she had been abusive. It had taken him years to recognize it, but he knew it was true. It wasn’t the whole truth, though. She was abusive, and she had been all he had, and he had loved her.</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He had broken his promises.  He was quite clearly stuck here, held to Denver by contracts and Andrew, unable to run and unwilling to try. If only he had gotten to say goodbye -</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He stopped. All he really needed was to say goodbye.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He devised a plan.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>An hour later, he was at the airport. He’d bought a one-way ticket on the first flight available, and was going to make it just in time. He had called an Uber and left straight from his 4am run to the airport, not even stopping at home for a change of clothes. He felt an urgency, as if he needed to go now or it would never happen at all.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Neil opened his phone to text Andrew. <i>I’m going to California.<i> He sent the flight details. He thought for a moment, and decided to add <i>Not running. Saying goodbye<i></i></i></i></i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>Neil checked the message again just before takeoff. <i>Read at 6:23 am.<i> Andrew hadn’t replied, but he’d gotten the message. There had never been any chance of Andrew coming with him, as much as Neil would have appreciated having him along. There were just too many hard memories in California.</i></i></i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>The flight was too short.</i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
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          <i>
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                <i>Several modes of transportation later, Neil was in a rental car, nearing the beach where he had left his mother behind. Clouds were blowing in from the ocean, and it looked like it may rain. Or it may not. He’d never become familiar with coastal weather. The place snuck up on him, probably because he was approaching from the opposite direction, but there was no mistaking this beach. This was it.</i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>smoke and waves and flames and salty air<i></i></i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
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    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
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                    <i>He pulled off the road and walked towards the beach. He didn’t know exactly where he’d buried his mother, and there were no signs of where it might have been. Of course, there might not have been any signs by the next morning, thanks to the waves.</i>
                  </i>
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                    <i>Neil sat in the sand and lit a cigarette. It was surreal. He could almost smell the burning car, hear the ripping sound of dried blood -</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
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    </i>
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</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
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          <i>
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                  <i>
                    <i>No. That was not why he had come.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>He’d left that moment behind long ago. Right now, it wasn’t about the end. It was about the life before that.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
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                    <i>Neil could picture Mary clearly. Her hair had been a light blond, quite beautiful, but he hadn’t seen it that way in years. She had preferred to dye it dark brown, rather muddy, which didn’t suit her skin tone but was admittedly less memorable. She’d always had a fearful manner, but a ruthless one too. It left its mark in her face - the worried lines, the determined expression, a permanent case of what Allison would have called “rbf”. </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>It was almost as if she was here, just out of sight. Out there over the ocean, where the rain was beginning. </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
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    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
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                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>“I’m sorry, Mom. I couldn’t run anymore,” Neil began to say. “I broke my promise to you. It was too hard to go on without you, and I stayed in one place too long.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
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              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>It was the best decision I ever made.”</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
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  </i>
</p><p>
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                  <i>
                    <i>Neil paused, watching the rain fall on the ocean. It drifted in closer, blown into shore, but it was light and he had a hoodie. It fit the mood, really.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
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                    <i>He continued. “I don’t really believe in a life after this. It’s hard to without believing in God, and no matter what Renee and Nicky say, I can’t believe a God would allow monsters to roam the world as they do. But I had to say goodbye to you.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
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      </i>
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  </i>
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                    <i>I’ve let go of what you taught me. I stopped running. I started playing Exy. It gave me something to live for, after you were gone. And it was only the first of many stupid decisions I made.” Neil smirked. “You would have been furious. First it was signing with Kevin, even though he didn’t recognize me. Then it was appearing on TV. Then it was roasting Riko Moriyama himself on TV, and from there it only escalated.” Neil paused, remembering.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
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</p><p>
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                    <i>“I broke every rule you ever taught me,” he choked. He could see her now, angry and fierce, hand raised to slap him again and again and again and again. “You would be so angry with me. I was angry with myself.” The tears started to fall.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>“I failed you, Mom.”</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>He sat there and cried with only his memories and the waves for company.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
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                    <i>Neil had arrived in midmorning, but the sun was nearing the horizon when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It startled him half out of skin. He turned and tackled the person behind him, catching them off guard and pinning them to the sand before he realized who it was.</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
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        </i>
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    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
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                    <i>It was Matt. “Whoa there, Neil,” he said with a laugh. “I guess you didn’t hear me calling your name.”</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
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                    <i>Neil wiped the last of the tears from his eyes. “Matt??” He asked incredulously. “Why are you here??”</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
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                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>Matt shrugged. “Away game in LA this weekend.”</i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>“But why are you <i>here<i>?”</i></i></i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
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</p><p>
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                        <i>Matt grinned. “Would you believe that Andrew sent me?” Neil just looked at him in shock. “He said you needed someone and posted your location in the Fox chat.”</i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
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                        <i>“My location.” Neil deadpanned.</i>
                      </i>
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                        <i>Matt scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Well, yeah,” he said. “Apparently he has a tracking app on your phone in case you get kidnapped again.” Of course he did. “Anyway, I was the closest to you, so I came.” He put his hands on Neil’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “I’m always here for you, Neil.”</i>
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                        <i>It was too much. Neil tackled him again, in a hug this time, and started to cry again. This wasn’t like him, all these tears, but he supposed that he was only now allowing himself to finish the grieving process for his mom. Matt hugged him back, and they stood there for a while.</i>
                      </i>
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                      <i>
                        <i>He may have lost his mother, but he had gained a whole new family because of it. He would never feel alone in their arms.</i>
                      </i>
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                        <i>At this point the tide started to come in, surprising them both when the warm water suddenly washed around their ankles. It felt almost familiar, in a way. Maybe this water remembered him. The evening tide must know the whole ocean side quite well, after all.</i>
                      </i>
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                        <i>Matt ruffled Neil’s hair and stepped back. “Do you feel better now?”</i>
                      </i>
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                        <i>Neil thought, and then nodded slowly. “I’ll be alright now. I came to say goodbye to Mom, once and for all.” He turned back to the ocean, removing his shoes and walking in until the water was up to his knees. Matt stayed on the shore, watching him.</i>
                      </i>
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                        <i>“I failed you,” Neil whispered into the waves. “You died trying to save my life, and I thanked you by breaking all your rules. But I managed something you did not. I <i>lived.<i></i></i></i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
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              <i>
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                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>Father is dead. The Moriyamas own me, but I live life on my own terms. I have a husband, and a family, and I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do.</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
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</p><p>
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          <i>
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                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>Thank you for helping me live long enough to get here.</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
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          </i>
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                          <i>
                            <i>Goodbye, Mom.”</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
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                          <i>
                            <i>And with that, he turned back to Matt and they started towards the car. “It’s strange to me that Andrew isn’t here.” It wasn’t a question, technically, but Neil wasn’t Andrew. He would answer this.</i>
                          </i>
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                      <i>
                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>“There’s a reason for that,” Neil replied with a smirk.</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>“And that is?”</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>“Where we are.”</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>“The beach?”</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
              </i>
            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>
            <i>
              <i>
                <i>
                  <i>
                    <i>
                      <i>
                        <i>
                          <i>
                            <i>Neil shook his head. “Not quite. There’s only one place that Andrew will never go. And since he isn’t here, well. I must be in California.”</i>
                          </i>
                        </i>
                      </i>
                    </i>
                  </i>
                </i>
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            </i>
          </i>
        </i>
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    </i>
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